Skip to main content

Losing it...

I totally lost my shi* tonight.  I wish I could say it was just a little problem that I quickly resolved in a mature, sensible fashion.  Unfortunately, it was a full bowl of soup and a complete dinner pulled off the stove onto the floor with a massive CLUNK.  I did not react calmly, or favorably, and instead simply REACTED.  I screamed, I yelled, I stomped around and made a big scene as I picked it all up.  I wanted to cry.  Instead, after melting down, I looked around and tried to find the upside.  Soup all over the floor?  It's okay - at least there was enough left in the pan for another bowl for Hayden and I didn't have to completely restart dinner.  Mommy meltdown mode in overdrive?  It's alright - I settled down quickly, picked up where I left off and just moved on with the night.
I really think doing this blog is helping me.  Normally, an evening like this would have set me into a downward spiral - the rest of the night would have been ruined not just for me but for the kids and hubby as well.  Instead, I took a minute to THINK about whether I reacted properly (nope) and if it was worth all the fuss (nope) and made the CONSCIOUS  DECISION to just let go, find the positive, and move on.

On that note...



this little girl - the one who dumped the dinner and could have ruined the night - was instead what pulled me through.  She's an adorable, mischievous, never ending handful of trouble - and I'm thankful EVERYDAY that she is mine.

Until tomorrow...

Positively,

Kim

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Collective Sorrow of Suicide

It started out as a normal Tuesday morning with the usual madness - getting kiddos dressed, fed and out the door to buses, schools and daycare.  Everything moved along according to plan - except the bus - it was late. And not 5 minutes late but a good 10 - and I was getting frustrated.  I needed to get the littlest to daycare and my work day into full swing - but we were stuck waiting for the bus.  Finally - a small white car drove up; someone spoke quickly to the parents on the corner, and everyone starting moving towards the other end of the street.  One of the Dad's came up to me and said there was a crime scene at the park (just a block or so away from our house) and the buses couldn't get through. "Suicide" he said, shaking his head and walking away. Suicide.  What a weighted word.  I was sad and a bit curious.  Where was the body?  When did it happen?  I quickly backed out of the driveway and headed off for daycare - taking our nor...

Fear, Loathing & Hatred in My Kind Life

“Forgiving is not forgetting. It’s letting go of the hurt.” - Unknown It was instantaneous and vitriol and in my head before I even had a moment to register. “Ughh…I hate her!” “Her” was a girl I went to high school with over 20 years ago.  I have not seen nor spoken with this girl since then…yet seeing her profile picture flash across a friends Facebook page brought it all back.  Even though I know I shouldn’t hate her – I really don’t even KNOW her – it was the first thing that popped into my head. The funny thing is – we were on again/off again best friends through much of junior high and high school. However, it was a friendship based on mutual disrespect.  She had a “reputation” that made her quite popular with the boys. I had a self esteem problem that I fed relentlessly.  We were a perfect storm of self loathing. Sometimes, the stars would align and we’d be brief but glorious allies.  Most of the time, however, we were using the oth...

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery...

...none but ourselves can free our minds. Ah, a little Bob Marley on 4/20 is always good. :-) I digress.  What a day.  A very grey, very cloudy drama filled day. It certainly was NOT good and I definitely felt like I was caught in a downward spiral of negativity. I actually wondered as the day went on how I was ever going to come up with something positive.  It just wasn't happening. But then I saw "Emancipation" on a bumper sticker - and it hit me - Bob Marley was totally right.  My emotions, actions, feelings - they are MY responsibility.  I spent all day reacting - feeling bad, doubting myself  - wondering what I could do to make it ALL BETTER.  I essentially wasted my energy, and my day, by allowing negativity to permeate and cast shadows of doubt. I'm done with that.  I want to reclaim my spirit - my positive energy - and I will not let ANYONE dictate how I feel again. It was a VERY hard day and I'm happy it's almost over.  How...